Monday, May 23, 2005

Thanks again to all of you who have posted comments, emailed me, or even called me about the accident. I'm doing okay, but I'm experiencing back pain at the moment. There's tighteness and pain in the base of my neck and I'm having problems lifting my right arm past the shoulder. I think that's from me trying to stop the car. :-) In any respect, it seems like the healing has stopped and now it's just consistent pain. But, I'm going to the doctor today and hopefully we will get to the bottom of all this very soon. Your concern has helped my spirits. :-)

Well, I've been getting some writing in here and there when I can. It's difficult and uncomfortable to sit up for a long period of time. And going out to restaurants and sitting in uncomfortable chairs to read and write has been all but impossible as well. It's funny how the little things mean so much when they are taken away. Oh, and another thing that I've noticed. It's like I'm having little panic attacks now when trying to cross a street. It's crazy!!! Because, I know what happened was an accident. I know I was crossing the street correctly and it wasn't my fault that I got hit. But I get extremely nervous now. My body shakes, my heart starts beating faster and harder. It almost makes my chest hurt. I break out in a sweat. And I'm thinking, "My goodness! I'm just crossing a street!!!" I think my mind would have been at ease if I was in the wrong. If I was jaywalking or had on a walkman or going against the light or something. But it was like the situation was out of my control. I saw this big massive car coming at me with no way to stop it or to get the driver's attention. So I guess now, my mind is being overly cautious, but it's driving me crazy. The first time, I had to turn around and go back home. I didn't know what the deal was. It didn't get better the next time, but I forced myself. I had tears coming out of my eyes by the time I got to the restaurant. And I stayed there for the longest time, trying to put off having to go through it all again to get home. The thing is, logically, I know it was just an accident. But apparently, I can't convince my body that it's not going to happen agian. This is driving me crazy.

So, I'm having a bit of a time trying to adjust and get back to a normal life. And the pain ain't helping! But, I'm hoping that this is just a minor interruption. Hoping things will get back to normal very soon.


Shelia Tue May 24, 12:54:00 AM EDT  

Cherlyn, I will keep you in prayer. I hope that you fully recover, but in the meantime, use the meds :)

Peggy Tue May 24, 09:24:00 AM EDT  

Sounds like delayed stress syndrome or something. I can definitely relate. I was on a plane that got in trouble ... to this day I cannot fly without fear. Keeping you in my prayers for both physical and psychological healing. This is a costly accident to you in many ways -- just doesn't seem fair.

LaEquis Thu May 26, 12:43:00 AM EDT  

I remember being in a fender bender years ago & how sore I was the next day so I can only imagine what you are going through. The way you described the accident sounds like you should have been sustained more damage. I pray that your your pain eases quickly and you are back to writing soon.

God bless.
Xenia Ruiz
Author of CHOOSE ME