I made another must-do list for the things I let get behind and spent all morning carrying them out. A lot of little tasks, but a mini break from writing. I actually got outside to walk to the post office and stop at the local Starbucks to get a refill on ground coffee.

Then I watched TV (kinda hard not to now) as I went through my character sketches. I wanted to go through each character and revise to fit what they had become and what new habits that had come about in the story. I tend to get very detailed in my character sketches. I include background information like who their parents were, what they did and where they came from. Who their brothers and sisters are. I outline the usual physical attributes (height, weight, shape, hair/eye color, imperfections, age, birthday, sign, etc.) as well as their personality and preferences (personality traits, habits, musical tastes, hobbies, books they read, etc.). Other stuff like marital status, education, employment history, any funny little quirks they have or phrases they use.. I also sketch their issue in this story, their perspective, their goals and desires, their greatest fears, and their motivations. Then I sum it all up around the current issue by writing a paragraph on their upbringing and how that affects their issues in this story.

So, I fill out this form for all the main characters (Excel spreadsheet). I also do a sketch on the minor characters, but not nearly to this detail. Then, as I'm writing in each chapter, for the characters in the scene, I constantly review their characters sketch to see how they react, what they might say, how they feel about whatever it is that's going on, how they try to come across and how they actually come across, etc. I only have to keep referring to the sketches in the first few chapters. It seems like after that, they come so alive that they just do what they do.

In addition to all of this, I make a story sketch too (theme, conflicts, setting information, etc.) and refer to it periodically while writing and revising.

All right. Time to get to revising chapters one and two! :-) It's going to be a long day.

And I accidentally left my cell phone on yesterday and picked up a call from a friend, who, as usual, began chewing me out for not calling--even though I've made friends aware of my deadline and I will be in touch after I meet it--say that "you don't write ALL day. You gotta eat. You can call me then." True, I gotta eat. But when I eat, I wanna eat. Not talk. Then it's "You can take 2 minutes to talk to me." When I point out that all my friends say this, they all will reply, "I'm not talking about everybody else, just me." So argument ensues (I have no idea why I'm arguing) and the conversation ends on a negative note of the friend saying, "Well, FINE. I'll tell you what then. Why don't you just call me when you're done writing the book?!"

I guess they feel better with it coming from them because that's what I've been saying since I started the book. In any respect, this is why the cell phone remains off. LOL

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IT'S DONE!!!!!

The first draft is done! Let's celebrate! Everyone, get a 40 and join me in a toast! But make it Michelob Ultra to cut carbs. And don't forget to pour some out on the curb in a moment of silence for the characters that didn't make it. They were beautiful people. Just caught up in the wrong story at the wrong time.

Ah, a major milestone has been reached, but it's not over. Today, I'm going to go over all the character sketches and revise. A lot of them have just gotten out of hand. They created their own personalities. Then, tomorrow, I'll refer to these character sketches as I take two chapters a day and revise. I expect to be done about September 10th. Maybe a day or 2 for last minute additions/changes, then it's off to the editor by the September 14th deadline! Yea!




I try to stick to the topic of writing on my blog, but some things you can't bypass. Even though I don't have relatives in the areas where Katrina hit hard, my heart goes out to all. I do know of another author and his family in New Orleans that safely made it to Houston and are still there now. I'm watching the reports on TV and it's truly devastating and many will not have homes to go back to. I know you are already, but please, continue to join me in a prayer for lives in that area.

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Here we go now. One more chapter to go and the first draft is done!

I forgot to mention last week... If you're a member of Black Expressions Book Club, check me out on page 7 of the September catalogue. Author Lexi Davis emailed me to let me know about my feature. Yes, I'm eagerly awaiting my catalogue in the mail. But she tells me there a picture of me (I'll smile when I get the braces off in a few weeks), a mini-bio, a blurb, and a small excerpt. I can't wait to check it out myself. Anyway, the hardcover of Counting Raindrops is being sold exclusively through Black Expressions.

All right. I'm eager to get started on the last chapter, so let me get to it. :-)

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Only two more chapters to go to the completion of the first draft!!! On schedule and rolling!

So, last night, I was in the umptieth day of seclusion, tired, but still finishing up the daily chapter. Then, *ding*, I get an email. Barely having enough energy to click from my Word Document to email (okay, maybe that's the little drama queen coming out in me), I opened email to find this message from Kim J., a reader in Memphis:



Hi Cherlyn, I received a copy of your book at a book signing with Carl Webber and Alisha Yvonne back in February. It was several of us reading it at the office and girl it was off the hook! I am friends with Alisha and Sherita the president of R.A.W. Sista of Memphis. I am president of Unique Women Social Club and we are reading it now which will be twice for me. I will be at your book signing when you come to Memphis.
Thanks and keep on writing.




Immediately, I felt invigorated. Energized. Touched. It's simple messages like these that you get out of nowhere, at any given time, that pumps you up and encourage you to keep following your dreams. They're soooooo much better than emails that say, "your writing sucks. Give it up and do us all a favor and die." Now, thank goodness, I haven't received that email YET but I'm bracing myself. I know it's coming because from what I've seen I think every author gets at least one. Even the best authors.

But in the meantime, after I got this email from Kim, with newfound energy, I returned to my Word Document and finished chapter 18 out of 20 of book two! Thanks Kim!

For Friday's winners, I hope you all enjoy it just as much!

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AND THE WINNERS ARE....

Okay, first let me give the numbers I wrote down and the reasons behind them:

I preselected #1 because although I am grateful to all who are interested, the first person to say so always makes you feel good. :-)

I also preselected #11 because I wanted a double digit winner, and possibly someone who would post on Friday so I could have a Thursday and a Friday winner, but I didn't want to go too high, just in case I didn't get that many posts. (whew!)


But, in seeing the response, I wanted to throw in another winner. Problem was, I couldn't just pick because there were too many people that I knew, who've been so suppportive, who's blogs I've read, etc. So, I came up with a simple method to select another winner. I took the total number of posts, divided seven (number of days in the week), took the cubed root (in honor of cubed steaks), then raised it to the fifth power (for the 5th Dimension), integrated from zero to one, then ADDED the number of dollars I made as a self-published author. Unfortunately, this left me with a negative number. So, I scratched all that.

Then I cut up pieces of paper with the numbers 1 - 21 (well, minus the previous winners), and pulled. Out came the number 20.

So, will the following posters please send your mailling address to cherlyn@cherlynmichaels.com:

TJBrown
AlwayzLovely
LadyLee

CONGRATULATIONS!!!


This was fun! I love giving away stuff. Why, if I was Oprah, I, too would...wait. Don't let me get to lying....
But, I'm going to have to do this again sometime soon! :-)

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Another chaper down. Yea! Five more to go. Should complete the first draft by Monday, if not before. :-)

Another mail surprise! I got a box of my books in the mail yesterday. How cool! I get to use these to hand out for reviews, promotions, and.....CONTESTS!!!

And I'm so excited. So, I think what this here blog needs is a contest so I can give away a couple of books!

Oh, but what to do, what to do?

Hey, I know! Okay, I'm thinking of a number. No, two numbers. I'm even writing them down. (See----->scribble, scribble.)
Now, if you'd like a copy of this new release, just post a comment and let me know. The winners of the books will be the posters that correspond to the number that I've written. For example, if I was thinking of numbers #1 and #2, then the first and second poster would win the books! Cut off point is going to be midnight Friday, Aug. 27th. Good Luck!

(Lawd, please let someone post!) LOL

All right. I'll be back here Friday!

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Moving right along! Finished another chapter yesterday.

I'm suffering a little bit because I finally went back to the gym yesterday. I know a couple of weeks ago I said I was going to get back on track, but I failed to do so at that time. So now, 2 weeks later, I went back and even after just two weeks I have that oh-not-so-in-shape-feeling. The only way to get beyond this is to keep on going. I know because I've been here too many times before, sad to say. But hey, I accidentally confided in my gym-mate that I was going to start working on those 10 - 15 pounds on September 1st. She guilted me into starting today. I don't know how that happened.

So, I got my promotional cards that I ordered in the mail yesterday. I've learned from the first time around. Instead of bookmarks and large postcards, what I found to be the most effective was little promotional cards the size of business cards. These are great to hand out on the street, at meetings, or wherever. They're also great for slipping in between book and magazines pages at bookstores, drugstores, and libraries (did I say that?!). I've already started a list of promotional activities with dates. This list consists of downtown lunch runs (selecting various locations to introduce myself and pass out cards at lunch hot spots), mall lunch runs, bookstores and other stores, free newspapers, ladies restrooms around town, and anyone I happen to cross paths with at anytime. I'm also planning on doing mailings.

As a new and unknown writer, you gotta do what you gotta do to make people aware that you and your book exist. It's a lot of work, but hey, somebody's got to do it (and that somebody is you.) ;-)

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Okay, I don't know whether to say I met yesterday's goal or not. Here's the deal. All of my chapters currently are running between 3K and 3.5K words. In yesterday's chapter, I got to an end of a scene at 3.2K words. I look at what I had remaining for that chapter and thought it would be best to create another chapter because I estimate another 3K words to write it. In the second draft, I'll go over it again and break chapters more appropriately, but they're broken up write know for easier writing purposes. So, essentially, this adds another chapter for me. Which could be more words. I don't know. I'm just going to get to the end of the first draft in seven days and see what's what.

As a new writer, I'm like a baby just discovering my fingers and toes. As I'm writing this book, I'm paying attention to the way I write, my preferred writing environment, how I write scenes, etc. I've noticed some pretty quirky things about me when it comes to writing.

Like, I can't write in total silence. Silence it "too loud" and I can't concentrate. I prefer to have background voices (TV, people) going on.

I prefer to write by outline. I've heard of authors who just start with a blank page and no outline and just go at it. Okay, I'm in awe of that. They don't know what's going to happen to whom or anything until they actually write it. Now, with an outline, things always change. Some new things/people are added, some characters turn out to be not important at all and are unceremoniously dismissed, some people's personalities changed from the ones I outlined for them. I can handle that, because I have a path. I think I'd have writer's block on page one if I tried to write from a blank slate.

The funny thing that I really noticed just yesterday is that I actually do put myself in each character to write the scene. It's almost like I'm possessed. You know, like in the movie Ghost when Patrick enters Whoopi Goldberg and takes over her body to talk to Demi (I don't remember character names)? And I feel their emotion and record what they're feeling, what they say, and what they do. But I REALLY feel their emotion. For any high intense emotion (anger, excitement,...) my body goes through the feelings: my jaws tighten, my body tenses, I'll type very fast, my heartbeat quickens. If it's a mellow emotion (sadness, sensual,...) my body becomes very relaxed, and my eyelids droop.

I was typing an argument scene last night and when I had stopped, I was breathing hard; my jaw was hurting because I was clenching my teeth together for so long, and my heart was racing. You know, it's probably best that I do write in seclusion. I could only imagine having a male friend next to me while writing and I'm in the throes of the scene and he says something to me and I just reach over and slap him because I'm feeling that emotion at the time. LOL It's just that real.

Well, that would teach him to bother me while I'm writing. Bet he wouldn't do it again. LOL

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Back on track! Yesterday, I finished up the half-chapter that I skipped out on to go to the Expo. PLUS, I wrote the next chapter. So, I'm still on pace for finishing in eight more days. Let the countdown begin! And I have to admit, Jill Shalvis provided me with additional motivation. She's trying to finish her manuscript in eight days too, so she offered to race me. I'm a girl that loves challenges. :-) (Hmmm....maybe that's what I need to do. Have somebody challenge me to lose these last 10 pounds and...hmmm.....). I ended up not leaving my apartment at all yesterday so I could catch up.

I just shot my editor an email too because I'm worried about word count. I have a minimum of 65,000, which I'm going to have no problem meeting. I'm actually getting worried about going over a maximum! If there is one. At the rate I'm going, I'm going to meet the minimum with the first draft. When I revise, there's going to be more words added because right now, I'm just laying plot and dialogue. There's very little description or narrative. I don't expect it to be a saga. I think Counting Raindrops was maybe 80K - 85K and 302 printed pages. Well, I'm just glad I'm worrying about a maximum rather than trying to come up with words to meet a minimum. Before editing, I'm a very wordy writer. Not sure if I'll ever have a problem meeting a minimum.

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Let the beatings commence.

I played hooky and went to the Missouri Black Expo yesterday and I only got half a chapter written for the day. The pressure was just too much! Apparently, the entire city is conspiring against me and taunting me this weekend, just because they all knew that I would be stuck inside writing. So what do they do? They bring an entire concert series for the weekend and put it on the levee, which is like right around the corner. And to rub salt in the wound, the end it off with like a twenty minute fireworks that I can't help but hear and feel because it's like an earthquake, every night.

Then there are the baseball games. First Arizona, and now the New York.

Then there's the Missouri Black Expo. I always know a few of my book friends are going to be there, book storeowners, and readers that I could promote to (salivating at the thought). The Hip Hop Summit was there as well.

Well, it all got to be too much for me. More than my guts could fathom. I left my laptop with a half written chapter, promising it that I would just take a small break and that I'd be back to finish up. Then I got on the other side of the door and thought, "Sucker!" as if I had told one of my high school teachers I was going to the bathroom, then proceeded to head out the front doors and to the streets (not to say that I've ever done this before. Okay, maybe once. But it was with friends, so I was heavily influenced and under duress.).

So I went and talked to fellow St. Louis author Brenda Hampton and one of her authors. Also saw Tia Dionne and Anthony Carr, authors from Chicago. Of course I saw and chatted with a few literary supporters in the area. Met the publisher of Who's Who in Black St. Louis (networked, of course, so that I could be included in the next edition). Then I sat in on two panels with the discussion topic "Black America Today." Omar Tyree sat on the second panel.

Although I didn't attend, one thing that really impressed me was the Hip Hop "Financial Matters" panel (not the exact name). The panel included Russell Simmons, local hip-hop artists Nelly and Chingy, and a few others. The were able to bring out 4,000 young people to discuss personal finance. They gave these kids workbooks and taught them about balancing accounts, saving, investing, their credit and FICO scores, how to buy a house, and more. They were teaching these kids what to do with their money when they obtained money. I just thought that was the greatest thing. It's great to see the hip hop artists using their power over the young people to teach them something that's going to make their lives better. And just seeing all those kids... It was such a beautiful thing.

Okay, the goal today is to finish the half of chapter from yesterday, plus another chapter. The countdown is on. I should be finished with the first draft in nine days.

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I've been tagged! Blog tagged!

AND I'M TAGGING:
LINDA DOMINIQUE GROSVENOR
LEAH MULLEN
MARCUS HARRIS
FREDERICK SMITH

Okay, this sounds like fun. And this saves you from the whining post that I was going to write this morning. The one about everything that's going on here this weekend in the downtown St. Louis area. EVERYTHING THAT I'M MISSING!!!! as I sit here and tap out the second book. Stuff like baseball, concerts on the levee, Nelly, MO Black Expo. It was going to be a doozy. So, you're spared. Until tomorrow. :-)

So, the way this tag thing works is that I list the 10 songs I've been listening to. Well, easy, and not so easy. Easy, because I load songs onto my PC and have them on continuous play all the time. Not so easy because I have in rotation about four CD, so that's about 50 or so songs. So, being the creative engineering nut case that I am, what I'm going to do is list the top 10 songs from these four CDs in rotation that make me stop, breathe in deeply, sway (because I can't dance), or just take me to a whole 'nother level. (Pretty clever idea, huh? Thought of that all by myself). Okay, so here it goes:


1. I Want You - Erykah Badu
2. Think Twice - Erykah Badu
3. The Corner - Common
4. The Food (Live) Common
5. Cross my Mind - Jill Scott
6. Family Reunion - Jill Scott
7. Bandy Bandy - Zap Mama
8. Show Me the Way - Zap Mama
9. Sweet Melody - Zap Mama
10. Danger - Erykah Badu

So there you have it!

All right, I'm about to go get a cup of coffee. You can thank Cydney Rax for getting you off the hook. But stay tuned for the bitch session tomorrow.

C ya!

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Okay, I'm just about at the halfway mark on the book. It's going good. Timing is good. Still on schedule to have it finished before the end of the month, then I'll have time to go over it a couple more times to shape and tweak it.

I've got to get better at organizing my note-taking. I swear, I have about five notebooks for jotting down thoughts, ideas, one-liners, character traits, etc. But everytime I need a notebook, I don't have one handy. As a result, I have strips of paper and backs of receipts with random ramblings everywhere! And I just know I'm not going to be able to locate an idea when I need it. Case in point, when I drove to Kentucky on Tuesday. One reason I prefer driving over flying is because of the serenity of the whole thing. I can take time to meditate and think and dream up new ideas. I get some of my best ideas on the road. This past Tuesday, I got a multitude of ideas for scenes and dialogue for First Fridays. But when I make a stop for food, I notice I have not "an" notebook around. Now, I OWN several notebooks so I can keep one in my purse, one in the car, by the bed, etc., etc. But how many in my purse and car did I have then? Nada. So, I'm writing my ideas on the back of a gas receipt. Luckily, I made sure to keep it in a safe place because this is for the current story I'm working on.

Last night, I think I dreamed up a whole story (dreams are still alive and kicking). Thing is, I can't remember the main detail--like the main plot. The main plot is a pretty important part of a story. I remember getting up to jot it down, but, of course, I didn't have a notebook on the nightstand, and my legs said, "I'll be $&%!# if I get up and try to find one at this hour." So, I'm sitting here trying to figure out what it was. Seemed like it was a good story.

Of course, as I sit here blogging with not a new idea to jot, I have two of my notebooks just sitting here staring at me. Playing games. When I need them, they'll get up and go hide somewhere. Grinning and laughing at me.

I got to get more organized with my note-taking.

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Hey, great news! I just found out yesterday that we got an audio deal for Counting Raindrops. So, my book will also be available on tape very soon. No exact date for release has been set, but when it is, I will let you know. :-)

Okay, writing has been very scarce since the day I took off on Sunday. Monday, I had a sudden family matter to tend to. After that, I got bogged down in other errands that were "must do" because I'd held off on doing them for as long as I could. I didn't get a chance to sit down to write until 7pm or so, and by then, my brain was no good. Besides, I had to get some sleep because Tuesday, I had the orthodontist appointment in Kentucky. Good news is, only one last appointment left in September. The scheduled off date. Round trip to the orthodontis is 11 hours drive time alone. So, it pretty much takes out writing time for the entire day. And now I'm playing catch up for not really having written in a good three days. Gotta get back on the horse. :-)

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Okay,I'm having a moment!

Yesterday, I just got my Hyperion copy of Counting Raindrops through a Stained Glass Window. Hot off the presses! She's beautiful. And I counted. She has all her flaps and pages. She's a tiny miracle. I wrapped her up in a receiving blanket and took her around to show all my friends and family members.

It's an experience. You know it's coming. But when it gets here, when it gets to your hands for the first time, it's like you gasp with excitement. And it's a different from your first self-published book, I'm seeing. With my first self-published book, seeing it in print for the first time was more of a feeling of, "Wow! I did it. Look what I achieved." But with the Hyperion book, it's a feeling of, "Wow! I'm an author. Author in the respect that someone published me instead of me. Someone else besides me and my mom thought my writing was worthy of publishing."

While I know that either way, I'm a writer, I have to confess that there is a feeling of validation in seeing it. And it's hard to describe. Because it's not that I needed that validation, for someone to publish me to make me feel like I was a real writer. But like it or not, self-published writers know that they aren't considered legitimate writers by others unless they are traditionally published, regardless of how they view themselves. So I look at this first copy and there's a feeling of awe. Especially since it's the first thing I've ever written, the first novel I ever attempted. And it's a real book? How cool is that?

I admit to feeling a little baffled. Because there are a lot of writers out there trying to get published. Good writers too. So I feel baffled and blessed.

Then there's a feeling that I just can't put into words and it's making me just stare at the damn thing like it's an alien. Like, "that came out of me?"

I wondered how I would feel when this day came. Now I have my answer. It's a multitude of feelings. :-)

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I had to take a day off from writing yesterday. Believe me, it was hard. But the dishes were piling up, the packed suitcase from last week's trip was begging to be unpacked, a couple of bills were smiling at the anticipation of a late fee, and, ah, well, the next thing that happens is that you start not to like yourself anymore. So, I took the day off to take care of business. And now that I can see the floor, I feel much better. :-)

I even had a chance to do a little reading. Treated myself to a field trip. Went to the bookstore! I got 2 books from the bargain books section. It's very rare that I can go into the bookstore and come out with nothing and the bargain books and the "last chance" books get me every time. Well, I usually can if my purse is empty or say, a tornado hits, and wipes out all the cash registers in the process. Well, maybe not even then because my cell phone has a calculator where I can figure out the tax and then it's just a matter of seeing if anyone has change. So, what I'm saying is, I really, really hate shopping, unless it's for books or shoes and I can't leave a bookstore without something in my hand. I may need to seek therapy. Yeah. Me and a whole lot of other writers. ;-)

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Okay, now I'm feeling the pressure. I'm still on my chapter and day and doing fine with that. But this weekend proved to be extremely challenging. The Rams had a preseason football game with the Bears. I've been so out of it that I didn't know it was coming. Next thing I know, I got the news on TV and they're showing the tailgaters and talking about the first preseason game of the year. I'm sitting in my apartment, a block away from all of this, hacking out a story.

Not feeling my emotion? Okay, let me try to put it in perspective for you. LOL The only way I was coming home to St. Louis was going to be if I lived downtown. The only way I was going to live downtown is if I was going to be as close to the riverfront as possible and walking distance between Busch Stadium (baseball) and the Edward Jones Dome (football). Okay, I have all three. And I literally daydreamed of walking down the street to drop in on tailgate parties and to walk to see a Cardinals game. Tailgate parties are just so much fun. People grilling up food, all decked out in their Rams gear, eating, drinking, talking about the game, drinking, trash talking, drinking.... Oh, and they do partake in a little drinking every now and then. LOL

But the good thing is, I stuck to my guns. I sat there, and just had it playing on the TV, while I finished typed out my daily chapter on my laptop. And it made me all the more determined. With each face that flashed a smile and then shoved in a hot dog or slathered their face with BBQ sauce; and with each shot of a tall slim Jim who was looking up and trash talking a big beer belly Abe who who held a cup of sloshing beer, I leaned over my laptop, furiously tapping out words at a vicious pace, while clenching my teeth with hair gone wild, and vowed to have this story finished by the beginning of the regular season. Okay, it's happening. I done did it now. I'm officially going mad. LOL

Okay, now that I've painted that oh so lovely picture of tailgate parties, NOW do you feel my pain?

And to make it all the more worse, I can look down and SEE the Edward Jones Dome from my apartment window. Sigh!

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So far, so good. I've been off the road for two days and I'm on point with my goal of a chapter a day. :-) I've turned off my cell phone and I'm doing it. Like I said, the story rolls, it was just so much of life that got in the way. But one thing, I achieved my goal by sacrificing going to the gym. Yet another but, though. I can't really totally say that I sacrificed not going to the gym as I can say that I just didn't properly organize my time. I do a "Funk-Soul-Steppin'" class, or, advanced aerobics, three days a week. And I'm one of those people who actually love going to the gym and working out, even though I'm ALWAYS trying to lose those same 10 pounds. Going to the gym has become even more of an experience since I started writing full-time. It has become my social outlet too. Some days I'm at home, locked up in my apartment all day with writing, and other literary stuff. And the gym may become the only time I actually see other people and even open my mouth speak actual words. Sometimes it can be the only time I get a whiff of fresh air. And it makes me feel good afterwards. Unless something comes up, I go to this class faithfully three days a week. And yes, sometimes, I will even sacrifice other events if it conflicts with my Funk-Soul-Steppin' class. Yes, it's just that important.

But I had to give it a couple of days off, kind of like as punishiment. Because I had all morning and afternoon to get the writing done, and I didn't. I could have, but I didn't. I was doing something else. Trying to make postcards for my first book. I'm not good with computer stuff and it took me two days and going back and forth between my Mac and PC computers to get the thing right. So, I finally got it done and placed an order (I'll use these cards to promote on the street, give some to bookstores, and for mailings) so I can get them in time for the book's release.

And from what I'm told, this is what it's going to be like. Working on writing one book, while working and doing promotion for the previous books. Promotion also involves "pre-promotion" which is getting everything ready for promoting. Do you want to give away postcards, book marks, have cute little story booklets, pens, magnets, your bio, newsletters, or whatever. You also gotta take time to make it up and put it together. And some stuff, like your bio, changes so you have to stay on top of it and make sure it's updated so that you won't have to spend a day at the last minute trying to get it perfect before you send it out to someone. And you can't completely ignore it until after you finish your next book, because then you look up and you're ready to go and you have nothing to promote with, because you didn't prepare it. So, this is all the other little writing stuff that's on my mind while I'm writing the next book. So the proper term should now move from "full-time writer" to "full-time writer and promoter". Well, for a lot of us, I should say. :-)

Don't worry. I'm going to make my class tonight. :-)

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Going from self to traditionally published puts you on an emotional rollercoaster. Well, at least I feel like I'm on one. When there's no news and nothing is happening (which I realize is because we're in that period where the book is just waiting to be released), my emotional level is on the low-low. I'm wondering if anybody's going to notice when it comes out. Will anybody even hear about it or read about it. Because that's where I feel like I am now. Just trying to reach a wider and different audience than I did when I was self published. It's like I feel like I've reached my limiting in reaching people as a self-published author. So, now, here I am with the same book, trying to self-promote, and trying to find and reach a new audience. So I'm brainstorming, trying to think of things I've never done before. How can I find and reach a new set of readers. It's tough.

Then there are glimmers of hope which causes my emotional level to rise. At least for a little while. Like I recently found out that Hyperion is going to run an ad in three nationally distributed magazines. Yea! So that will help me to reach a wider audience. Then, just yesterday, my editor told me that Walmart really liked my book and placed a sizable order for their stores nationwide. Now that's awesome. Everytime I go in Walmarts in the area, there are always women there browsing and picking out books. So don't think I won't be in my local Walmarts helping readers choose a selection to buy, then offering to autograph it for them. I'm going to have to ask for a Walmart smock to wear while I stand in the book aisle. LOL But, it's things like that that makes you say, maybe, okay maybe somebody new will hear about my book and want to pick it up.

As the release date gets closer, I get nervous. I feel butterflies in my stomach. It's a repeat of the first time you've ever released a book. All of those feelings I had the first time around are re-surfacing. Maybe it happens with every release? I don't know. But I tell you. It's nerve-wracking.

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Okay, I did it again. Took off without saying I was going to be gone for awhile. But it just seems like I'm always in a rush and never remember to do stuff like that until I rolling down a highway. I remember traveling at work and I would always forget to set the automatic message responder or change my voice mail message to indicate my time away or whereabouts. Well, when I was working, it might have been different. I didn't necessarily want to be found so....

Anyway, just got back from the third annual National Book Club Conference in Atlanta and it was off the chizzle (is that right?)! There were 600 people in attendance, authors like Terry McMillan, Walter Moseley, Bertice Berry, Grant & DeBerry, BeBe Campbell, J. California Cooper, and, um...Cherlyn Michaels! LOL No, I wasn't a perticipant (at least originally). But I did fill in a spot earlier today for the self-publishing panel and talked about my book and my journey. I still haven't mastered public speaking yet. I'm really going to have to work on it. I was next to last to speak and while everyone else was speaking, I was telling myself that this was nothing new. Nothing I hadn't done before. So relax. Just relax. So what do I do? I get up there, ramble and stumble over words because I don't know what to say next (well, in all honesty, I didn't expect to speak and had nothing prepared...but that's beside the point). My voice starts shaking and I remain that way until people start to ask questions. Now, I can stand there and have a conversation and talk to a crowd of people without feeling nervous. It's the talking about me and my book while everybody is quiet and staring, that I have a problem with. Because they're all staring at you and you don't know what they're thinking. Are they thinking, "Man, how did she write a book or get a book deal? She's boring as HELL!" Or, "Okay, okay, enough already. Tell me something good!" You just don't know what the audience is thinking. But, I managed to get through it and aftwards, quite a few wanted more info on my book (hopefully so they will pick it up when it's released) and/or to talk about publishing. I LOVE talking face to face with authors who are about to self-publish! :-)

The conference was AWESOME!!!! I've gone every year and each year is always better than the last and this one was no exception. I love going even if I'm not a participants. It's basically a gathering of bookclubs around the country, and authors. There are author sessions and panels, book club and author awards. Lunches, dinners, and an awesome time. It's great mingling with readers who are just hungry and salivating for new authors. It's the one time that I don't mind the sensation of feeling like a pork chop in someone's eye. And everyone is able to mingle with all the authors there. They hang out with you and cruise the hallways and partake in discussions about books, writing, the weather, flu vaccines, or whatever. This is like the best conference and I love going. It's also very inspiring. You always come away pumped up and ready to write and put out your next book. That's what I'm feeling now. Gotta get this manuscript finished. I set a new goal. A chapter a day because I've missed so many days of writing due to travel. It's still do-able because I did it for a while when writing the first book. Anyway, I'm feeling good and ready to roll again.

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If you don't get my monthly newsletters (well, it's supposed to be monthly but lately, it's been like quarterly--LOL), I'm doing a drawing on August 15th to give away two Advance Reader's Copy of Counting Raindrops through a Stained Glass Window. If you're not on the mailing list, but would like to win a chance at a copy, you can sign up for the newsletter by going to my site and entering your email address in the box (join mailing list). Good Luck! Next month, I'll give away an actual copy or two, plus promotional giveaways and books by other authors.

Okay, gotta get to writing...

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Whew! Just got back in town. I drove to Philadelphia, by way of Cleveland, for my family reunion. In Cleveland, I dropped in on a signing with Terry McMillan. She read a chapter from her book before entertaining questions (with the prerequisite that it could not be about anything that's been in the news as of late--you know what I mean). But she was in great spirits as usual. Every time I've met her, she's always been down to earth and nothing had changed. I'm anxious to read her latest as well, although it's going to take a minute.

Had a great time with my family and even visited an old college friend and sorority sister in the area. I had plans to write everyday while there, but, as one would expect, that didn't go over so well. I wrote two days out of four, and they weren't quality writing days by a longshot. And before I left, I spent two days finally getting my receipts in line to do taxes. Yes, I procrastinated on that even after getting an extension. If you're a first time author and on the road for the first time, let me tell you...sort and organize your receipts along the way. If you can, log your travel expenses and purchases immediately. It took me 20 hours to sort all that stuff out. But it was quite interesting too. You're able to see exactly what you do on the road. Where you sleep, what you eat, what you do.... I should have bought stock in Red Bull. That's for sure.

So, all in all, I wrote two days out of about seven. This is lousy! Aaagggghhhh!!! I just want to scream! Three more days before I leave for a book conference in Atlanta so I'm going to be a writing fool until then. Um...I'll holla back in a minute!

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I had one of those chapters that I just got stuck on. I knew what I wanted to write. And it wasn't even writer's block. It just wasn't flowing right. I decided to not worry about it and to just lay the plot down for right now, and to go back and fix the flow after I finish the first draft. What I'm finding anyway is that as I write new chapters, something comes up where I have to insert a line or two or a paragraph in a previous chapter. So, I know I'm going to have to go back and shape everything afterwards. Worrying about it now is just preventing me from laying it down on paper, and I think that's the most important thing right now. Because I'm finding it easier to see what I need to do and how to fix it if I have something down on paper (computer screen). Then I can see what's wrong, and try different things to fix it. This is exciting!

The good thing is that I'm disciplining myself. Yes, it's still going good. And somehow, I managed to meet my writing goal, and go to a concert on Friday night and a baseball game on Saturday. Friday I went to a jazz concert to see Dave Koz and friends. And it wasn't until I got there that I realized one of the friends was Jeffrey Osborne. I LOVE Jeffrey Osborne. I saw him in Vegas a few years back and fell in love with his live performance. He's a grandfather and is in great shape. He wore a suit, but Dave Koz "made him" take off his suit jacket and shirt, to reveal his tight italian muscle shirt. How convenient. The ladies were going wild. Okay...I was going wild. LOL But it was a great show. I love jazz.

Then, my friend took me to the baseball game on Saturday. Cardinals vs. Cubs. That has to be one of the greatest rivalries in baseball. I had a great time, even though we lost. Something about beer and whooping it up with Cubs fans and fellow Cardinals fans that makes everything okay. Well, except if you're out in the bleachers and you're around the sour grapes of the losing team. Sometimes, it's not too pretty. But it was too hot that day and luckily, my friend had pull and we were able to watch the game from the Batter's Cage, which is an air conditioned viewing room with all the free food and beverages you can handle.

It was a day game, so I came home, took a nap, then wrote for the rest of the day. :-)

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Reading at all times has come to be essential for me. It's funny because as a child, I read avidly. When I started college, my reading became textbooks and technical reading only. Then after college while working as an engineer, the extracurricular reading was all techinical. Books by Steven Covey, books on continuous improvement, kaizen, team building, flow processes, work personalities, change agents...yep, I know you're salivating over these book topics right about now, aren't you? LOL While I wasn't reading fiction, I was still reading avidly. I spent much of my spare time reading, just books to improve my career. Then, when I decided to write my first book in 2003, I decided to get back to reading too. It was actually a struggle at first because I wasn't familiar with ANY current day writers and genres because I hadn't read non-technical books as an adult. So, I slowly just started picking up books to read, started reading book magazines, and book newsletters. Now I'm at the point where I HAVE to read non-technical everyday.

I'm also letting my tastes run their course and checking out what pulls me. Being a fiction writer, I find it odd that I enjoy reading more non-fiction books that fiction. A lot of the books I've just finished reading have been books from the civil rights era: Malcolm X, Assata, A Taste of Power. I also very much enjoy old school African American fiction and James Baldwin has become a favorite. I also like Ralph Ellision and Richard Wright. I also read spiritual books daily. I've read books like The Power of Intention, Spiritual Intelligence, The Celestine Prophecy, Personal Power through Awareness. I'm currently reading The Four Agreements.

I do read fiction though (although to a lesser extent) and I like reading the genre that I write in. Right now, I'm reading Always the Bridesmaid by Leslie Lyles. I enjoy books by Jennifer Weiner. I love her wittiness. Next, I'm planning to read The Wife of Reilly by Jennifer Coburn and I also have Candace Busnell's upcoming September release, Lipstick Jungle. Dying to rip into that one.

Lastly, I read for study. It seems I'm always reading a book on writing instruction. I recently finished Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. I started Stephen King on Writing and I have Writing Down to the Bones that I want to read as well. Periodically, I'll read books on various parts of the writing, such as characters, plot, structure, and overall novel writing books. And I read anthologies on the study of writing to study various parts and themes. Right now, I'm reading The Norton Introduction to Literature and The Norton's Anthology of Short Fiction. I love this Short Fiction Anthology because it is packed with writers that I've heard about and want to read. This anthology is giving me a chance to get a little piece of them until I can get around to reading more of their works. It's like a little intro. I LOVE that book!

And um, as you can probably guess, I'm finding that if I don't discipline myself, yes, the reading can interfere with writing and meeting my deadlines. So, with all that I want to read, I find that I have to set reading times. So I start my day with a spiritual reading. Since I have a deadline now, I go right into writing my book after that. But before, I was doing study reading before writing (and I still may do it now if the writing is starting off slow). After meeting my daily writing goal, I may do some non-fiction reading. I take my fiction with me to the gym and everywhere else and read during downtime and I read fiction before going to bed. Still, there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day...

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I'm 150 words shy of my daily goal of 2,000 quality words. I say quality words because it's quite easy to throw 2,000 words on a page (I've been blessed not to run into a case of writer's block, but I know I'm in the beginning of my writing career). I had to stop to mail packages and I'm about to go to the gym. As I writer, going to the gym a minimum of 3 days a week is a MUST DO on my list. Otherwise, I'd get no exercise with writing all day and my the end of a book I'd be big as a house! LOL I still haven't managed to lose these last 10 - 15 pounds, but that's another story. Going to the gym gives me a chance to get out out my apartment and meet characters, (did I say that?) keeps the health in check, the heart pumping, and the stress level low. And afterwards, I'm going to a St. Louis Writer's Studio meeting. Then I'll come back to finish up my last few words for the day.

I think I need to sit down and watch more TV. I attended the Joe Torry Give Back the Love event this weekend and had a good time. He has an event here in his hometown every year and brings celebrities in to mentor and tutor kids, and raise money for the foundation. Last year, there were many people that I recognized. This year, unfotunately, the only person that I can tell you about off the top of my head is Dawn Lewis who played on A Different World. She sang the national anthem before the celebrity basketball game and she has an outstanding voice. I heard there were stars from movies and TV...Star Trek I remember. But I didn't recognize the names or faces of any of them. But I know it was just me because it seemed that everyone did and they were all screaming and going wild. It's funny because I have to have some background noise while writing and the TV is ALWAYS on. But I just realized that I'm never really watching it.

Anyway, the weekend was a lot of fun, and yes, I did get my daily quota in. I'm on a roll with the second book and the discipline is going great. I'm getting better and better at it each day.

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Yesterday was a groundwork day. I re-evaluated all my major characters and really fleshed them out. Now they feel like real people that I know. And for all of my friends and family members who are reading this, let me say this now, NO, THERE IS NO CHARACTER BASED ON YOU!!!! LOL I also tweaked my setting a little bit more. Over the next couple of days, I'm planning a field trip (didn't you just love those in grade school) to where I get out and spend a little time in the area that's my setting. I need to get the feel of it for the characters and find places that they're going to frequent and where they're going to eat and live. Even though it's right here in town, I'm going to take pictures as well. Probably sounds silly but I'm getting giddy just thinking about it. And this time, I don't have to get a permissions slip signed for me to go. :-)

While I'm writing my second book, there's actually also another project that I'm working on that I'm extremely excited about. Even when I was in Ohio, I knew that I wanted to start a non-profit that would work with kids in reading and writing. Well, I had started working on it, but it was hard to do by myself. I had a few part-time people involved, but mostly, the work was all on me. And with everything else going on, I hardly made any progress. But then, I saw a information about a group that was looking for additional members to establish a chapter of a national non-profit called 826. In a nutshell, 826 helps kids in the age range of 6 - 18 to improve their writing skills. I'm very excited about being a board member of this group. One of the members sent an email stating that she has sent off our incorporation papers and we're listed as the St. Louis Writer's Studio. This project excites me to no end, especially being involved at the very beginning. Yeah, the schedule is a little tight right now and, especially now through October or November, my physical presences may or may not be scarce because of a possible book tour. But other than that, this project is at the top of the list, along with writing books! :-) I know we're planning on being up and running in 2006. I'm so anxious to start working with kids and writing. It's going to be so fulfilling. :-)

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Okay, the heat is being turned up. It's two months before re-release time and time to start stepping up promotions. I recently found out what my publisher is doing for me as far as marketing, and I can honestly say, it's not surprising. It had been drilled into me a long time ago that even if I was picked up by a publisher, I should expect to do my own promotions. Which is the good thing about having self-published before. I have a little experience with this and I know what worked for me and what not to waste my time on. So, I have my outline together of what promotions I'll do and when. I'm going to try to reach audiences that I wasn't able reach when I was self-published.

And I'm already starting to feel the pressure. Because while promoting the first book, I'm trying to write the second. So my mind is going back and forth between the both of them. Even if I don't start the heavy promotions until a month before the re-release, I have to plan all of that out and get some things into motion before then. So now I'm at a point where I have to set a schedule for promotion work to because if one is not careful, a large amount of time can go into that.

So if I still promote my own book, what's the good thing about being with a publisher? Well, definitely the ability to do all of this full time, even though I still don't have enough hours in the day. But if I was still self-published, I'd have even less hours. Also it's great to think that when the book is out, I won't have to pack and lug my own books to my signings and everywhere I go. Ah, and I won't have to chase down bookstore owners and distributors to get paid so that I can continue. That alone is worth being with a publisher.

But even though marketing and promotion through the publisher is starting off small, I do know (and my agent confirmed) that as we build up our audience and sales, then the marketing and promotion should build as well. I know this is true, but sometimes it's hard to get beyond the fact that national exposure is what's needed in order to accomplish that and you know it's tough for you as an author to get national exposure on your own. So you hope that being with a publisher, they'll give you that national exposure. Only the truth may be, that you have to prove yourself to be worthy of national exposure dollars. And well, how is one able to do that without sales that you don't have, because it's your first book. :-) So, it's a cycle and you see and you understand, but you just want things to be different.

Of course, all this puts my mind into high drive on how to get as much exposure as I can and to try to get the word of mouth going. Gotta start somewhere. And I'm going to have to again count on the support of new readers who are unfamiliar with me or my work, and to take a chance on me. Now, I just gotta work on reaching them. :-)

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Whew! Last week was one of those busy weeks. Drove to Kentucky to see my orthodontist but still came back with braces. The good news is that we're almost there and we scheduled the "retainer" appointment. So when my book comes out, I hope to be cheezing profusely at a bookstore near you! :-) But that was a whole day of driving and completely wore me (and my back) out.

I went to a friend's baby shower yesterday. It felt so good to be able to do that. For the past 10 years, I have missed out on so much of my friends lives, first due to work travel, then to writing, publishing, promotiing and selling my book. I've missed bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, divorces, chasing down child support payments...you know, the cycle of life (just kidding). This is my friend's second child and the first time I've seen her pregnant. And this is actually the second baby shower I've been to since being back in St. Louis. A college buddy and sorority sister invited me to the shower for her third child. Showers are fun and cutesy. This time, the ladies made ME feel like a little star. I was a little down about not getting as much writing in as I wanted for the last couple of days. But I walk into the shower and just about every woman there had read my book and loved it. My friend, the pregnant lady, is a reader and a teacher and sold tons of my books to her family and co-workers. They actually were upset because they didn't know I was coming, otherwise they would have brought their books for me to autograph. I would have felt guilty because it felt like a book club meeting, except for the fact that the guest of honor was the one distributing my new postcards and telling everyone about my book and running down my bio. It was funny and I left there feeling better. The good thing about it is that I slept well and woke up to two new ideas to add to my novel.

And at least this time, I wasn't asked when I was going to have children (getting married seems to be optional these days and not a necessary duty if you want to give birth). Even at my age, I still just don't have that strong desire to push eight pounds of anything out of my vagina. And then the thanks I could possibly get for that might be backtalk, spontaneous behavior that either has me apologizing to other parents, the community, or possibly even the nation, or teenaged activity that brings back memories and makes me laugh on the inside while I'm scolding and reprimanding my child on the outside... Nah! LOL Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike kids. As a matter of fact, I think when the time is right, I hope to be able to adopt a child one day. One that is potty trained and can walk and is at least on the verge of verbal communication. See, now if they came out that way, I wouldn't mind having one. Then again, that would probably make them about three feet tall at birth, right? Never mind.

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Great news! I finished the first draft of my short story for the anthology! Yea! I'm so proud of myself for buckling down yesterday and getting it done, despite all the distractions around me. I had expected to finish it up today or tomorrow, but hey, I got in the groove and knocked it out last night. Now, I'm going to spend the next couple of days to go over it, tighten it up a bit, and then I'm sending that baby in! Finishing a writing project give a great feeling. Now, 2 more novels and 2 more short stories to go before the end of the year. I'll go back to finishing up my second novel this week. The deadline is almost upon me and I'm kinda wondering if I'm going to make it. But if I buckle down, I actually just might.

Well, today, after I go over the story, I'm planning on going to Mom's house, maybe. Today is also the biggest fair day of the weekend and I'm a little bit worried about having a parking space when I get back. Plus I just heard on the news that they're closing off streets at a certain time and not opening them back until after midnight. I might just leave my car here and catch the train. That actually might be fun. Just gotta figure out the closest station to my Mom's house, how much it costs and stuff like that. Um, no, I've never caught the train before. Not by myself. I think I did when we had our family reunion here a few years back and I just basically followed the family. Ah, the sacrifices of city living!

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Okay, downtown living can be a problem in the summer time, I see, when it comes to writing. Too much going on and too many distractions. I'm walking distance from the riverfront, the Cardinals baseball stadium (and I LOVE baseball) and the Rams football stadium (oh, and I LOVE football). And this weekend is the weekend of Fair St. Louis. Along the riverfront, theirs food vendors, misc. vendors, live bands and concerts, airplane shows, and just people everywhere. It's a festh-ival! LOL The last thing I needed was more procrastination tools. And it is extremely tough when you can hear everything from your apartment. Yesterday, all I had to do was stand at my window to watch the annual parade. I had never been to it before and this year, I didn't have to leave my apartment or change out of my pajamas to see it. Sure hope nobody had binoculars.

As I type this post, I'm listening to the airplane show which goes on every few hours throughout the holiday weekend. Yesterday, I gave it. BUT, and a very important but, I took my laptop with me. So I could write. I went to the riverfront, walked around a bit, then took a seat on the lawn (brought a blanket) and waited for the Blackeyed Peas to perform. I know what you're thinking (because I was too). There's no way to get writing done in that type of environment. There was thousands of people and stuff going on everywhere. But, believe it or not, I did get a lot of writing accomplished (even if I'm not happy with what I wrote). I wrote, then sat back and enjoyed the free concert and the fireworks show afterwards. I'm the type of writing that can't write in silence. I need something blaring in the background and it's usually either TV or a radio talk show. Somehow, music and silence drives me crazy and I can't concentrate. So, that type of environment on the riverfront was perfect. I get around noise, then tune it out. Sounds senseless, I know. But it works for me. I know people thought I was crazy. I didn't see anybody else with a laptop out there trying to work. Hey, but you got to roll with what works for you. ;-)

Now, today was a little different. I decided to go to my first game of the year at Busch Stadium. I LOVE baseball, as I stated before. I had planned to write at least my daily quota there, but somehow, that doesn't work for me. Because I want to watch the game. I guess the distractions I need with writing has to be something that's not at the top of my list of things I enjoy. Meanwhile, I'm the only nut at the stadium with a laptop hanging from my shoulder. So, I came back home to do a little more writing, and I'm going to sacrifice the rest of the day and stay in and get it done. Hey! You find out what works for you and what doesn't.

I have a goal of 2 novels and 2 or 3 short stories by year's end. It's going to be tough to do from now through Labor Day with excitement right at my doorstep. But I'm going to have to continue to buckle down, sacrifice, and get it done.

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Ah!!! Just came from my last physical therapy appointment this morning. Feeling better, but still not 100%. I'm continuing with a chiropractor for the next few weeks. I really feel confident now that I'll get back to 100%. The first few weeks had me worried and I had already envisioned a tumor growing in my head undetected and a slipped disk in my back. That's one thing. When a writer is left alone for a long period of time, the imagination can go wild. A mere stubbing of the toe on a bed post can have you wondering if you now have a blood clot that cut off circulation which will cause you to have to have your entire leg amputated within the next few weeks. I probably wouldn't have admitted this, especially on a blog for all to see, except that after reading a few other blogs and books on writing from other authors, these thoughts seem to be quite common. They seem to be great procrastination techiniques that we're all so good at developing. Whew! Now I feel like a real writer! I have the required mental instabilities and paranoia. (Just joking)

I'm going to a new chiropractor this afternoon. I'm changing to one that's in the neighborhood and I can walk (which helps since I still haven't taken the car to the dealer to get my A/C fixed and get ripped off). I decided to make the change because the last chiropractor's office just didn't give me the warm fuzzies. I'm not quite sure what to make of the experience. The doctor apparently endeared a few "kids" from the neighborhood that seemed to walk in and out of the office, going in the fridge and getting water, and sitting down amongst those receiving therapy, eating a bag of chips, at will. Just hanging out. The doctor would appear to try to discourage this activity, but the visitors would seem to pay him no mind. One also went and helped himself to the therapy equipment until the assistant, apparently a peer, told him not to because the doctor would come back there. He paid attention to her.

The treatment was actually a good one (I felt better afterwards). Just a little funny sometimes. Well, the assistant really isn't into telling you what's going on and what's about to happen. I guess information is given on a need to know basis or only if you ask. Since I had been in physical therapy for the past month, I guess I assumed that when she told me to lie on my back, she was about to massage my neck, as the therapist did. The next thing I know, she flips a switch or something and my pelvis suddenly rises up to what feels like two feet off the table, and then it's lowered. Then the roller goes over my back, then up to my neck. Well, I didn't know to expect this and my eyes shot open. One part of my brain is telling me that I'm being molested and severely groped by someone under the table. My muscles tighten up and my heart picks up its pace. But after about three revolutions, another part of my brain convinces the rest of us that we are not being molested and there's no need to scream. But that this is actually indeed a part of the therapy. After that, it began to register that this was a good massaging feeling. So, after the "move along...nothing to see here" type speech in my brain, my heart was able to slow down, my eyes closed, and my muscles relax.

The doctor seemed uneasy. Very nervous like. Like he needed several cigarette breaks or something. When he was examining my injuries, his voice was shaky and his leg would bounce up and down a mile a minute. He was making me nervous, like I would have to make a break for the door at any minute. But all in all, the thing that really got me was while I was laying on my stomach receiving my treatment from the assistant, she became perturbed with the "kid" who came in and didn't have anything for her. Now, there are other clients in the room receiving treatment, but they apparently had no problem discussing their um...purchase and need to relax, out in the open. I couldn't believe my ears.

I'm not going to name the doctor's office or location, but it was a trip! The treatment was good, but like I said, I just didn't get that oh, so fuzzy feeling. I'm going to try a new chiropractor today. This should be interesting. :-)

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Now I remember what I didn't like about St. Louis. The sweltering heat. I mean SWELTERING!!!! I took my car to get maintenance this morning. While I was waiting, I read a little from James Baldwin's THE FIRE NEXT TIME. Then, I decided to take a morning stroll for coffee. It was 8:30 AM. By the time I walked down the street I felt like I couldn't breathe! You see, in St. Louis, it's not the actual heat that gets you, but the humidity. The air you breathe in feel thick. Feels like you actually could cut it with a knife. And it feel like the air is pushing your shoulders down. You feel heavy and it makes you drag. Then, after a few minutes outside, your clothes start sticking to you. No matter what you wear: shorts, tank tops, whatever. It sticks to you. And like I said, this was the early morning. Way before the sun has had a chance to dig in and get settled up there.

In Cleveland, the spring and summer seasons were so short that I thought I missed the warm St. Louis weather. It wouldn't begin to warm up until June and sometimes it would snow by the end of September. I thought it was funny when the temperature would get up to about 80 degrees and everybody there was screaming heat wave! LOL They didn't know what a heat wave was! St. Louis sees 90 plus degrees often, and 100 plus degrees ocassionally. But it's not the high temperatures, it's the humidity that has you feeling like you're having an asthma attack.

And wouldn't you know? The auto technician couldn't find out what was wrong with my A/C, so he suggested that I take it to the dealer. So you know what that means. I'm about to get screwed. They know I need A/C and they're going to make me pay for it dearly, no matter what the problem is.

Sigh

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Great news! MY WEBSITE IS LIVE!!! Check it out!

Today was a great follow-up to yesterday's mammogram. For the first time, I participated in the Race for the Cure here in St. Louis. And I hear that we had the biggest number of registrants for the race. If so, that's awesome news. But I tell you, it was a tremendous experience, especially having just gotten my baseline mammogram.

First, the number of people downtown was overwhelming. I walked with my sister and her fiancee. And you saw all types of men, women, older & younger, various races, I mean everything. And the spirit was that of kinmanship and love. It was truly a blessed experience.

And you know, of course, as I'm walking, I'm taking in as much as I can. I just started focusing on the "In Memory Of" tags that many people wore. It seemed like at least 90% of the participants had names of a mother, an aunt, a cousin, a sister, a friend, or someone they knew who had breast cancer. Some people wore T-shirts with photos of a loved one. Some carried signs with theam names or the name of someone. When you think about it, I mean really think about it, it's overwhelming. I just began to read name after name after name. Cancer survivors wore special pink shirts and had a procession of their own at the beginning of the race. I'm tellling you, it was an experience.

It's great to see so many people come together in a spirit of love, understanding, and support, to unite for a single cause. One of many that affect us all in one way or another. I don't have a history of breast cancer in my family, however, I know that it doesn't mean that I may not be affected by it in the future. This experience, along with getting my mammogram yesterday, really brought to the forefront the greatness of this disease and need for a cure.

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Okay this was a slow writing week. After getting off to a great start, I got slowed down. Mainly by the doctor visits and therapy. I had five therapy and/or doctor visits this week with two of those appointments being today. I'm telling you. If you can at all avoid it, don't get hit by a car. Even if it seems minor (you're alive with no broken bones or concussion or whatever), you life will be hell and your schedule will be shredded to pieces. You'll get frustrated because your productivity is reduced and you'll want to not make your appointments, but stuff like back pain, neck spasms, and constant headaches will give you no choice but to go. But, if you're lucky enough to be one of those people who can stay positive through it all, you'll grin and bear it and get through.

Oh, and I go get my baseline mammogram done today. You know, the one I said I was doing like a couple of months ago? Well, I missed that appointment back then. So, I walk up to registration and the lady stares at me funny and asks me my name. She go gets my file and looks up at me and screams, "YOU DON'T LOOK THIRTY-XXX." I say she screams, but maybe it sounded like a scream because it was quiet. Nonetheless, she spoke very loudly. So, I smile. It's cool to get that reaction. She screams again, "YOU DO NOT LOOK THIRTY-XXX!"
"OH, I'M DEPRESSED. I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU AND I DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT!"
(I look around to see if anyone is looking. There's a gentleman at another registration desk laughing and another lady behind the registration desk telling her to lower her voice and don't say my age out loud.)
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS IS YOU! THIS CAN'T BE YOU!!!"
(Okay, I'm flattered, but now this is getting a little annoying. The other lady keeps telling her to lower her voice."

I tell her that indeed she's right, that I'm an imposter. I stole someone's identity to come in for the joy and thrill of having my breasts flattened between two plates and beautifully photographed. What can I say. It's the feel of the cold hard steel around my breasts. Gives me an adrenaline rush.

The other lady behind the desks laughs, but she ignores my little joke and is staring at me with her mouth gaping open.

"OH, MY GOD! COME LOOK AT HER AND SEE."
(Now I know I should feel special, but I feel like an alien.)
The other lady comes to see and quietly says, "no, she sure doesn't look thirty-xxx."

Well, finally, I got registered and got on with the mammogram. It's stuff like that that can make your day when you're having a rough. :-) Even if you don't get any writing done.

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Okay, Cydney's comments made me think of a couple more funny things. It's great when I get feedback from readers who've read the self-published book and enjoyed it. But it's funny when I get dead serious comments of how I need to send my book to Oprah. And they say it like it's an innovative idea that no one else has ever thought to do. Or either, they realize that by chance, another writer or two might have thought to do this, but they think my book is so good that Ophrah is going to be completely mezmerized that she will drop everything and try to book me for the show. Of course, I'd have to check my calendar and get back to her. Oh, I'm sorry, have my assistant's assistant to get back to her about when I can confirm for the show. LOL Now, while I am totally flattered and totally gracious that this person obviously really enjoyed my book, I'm not anxious to throw a perfectly good book into Oprah's slush pile. So, I usually just smile and say, "Now that's a thought!"

Oh, but the best was advice that this guy told me. That I needed to call up P. Diddy and tell him about my book so we could "do something" with it. That I should just call up Bad Boy Entertainment and get P. Diddy on the line. "Hey, yo P! I got this new joint that I want you to check out, y'knowhaimean? Hot off the presses, this book is slammin! Yo we gotta make a move on this one P. We gotta do a video, a play, a movie, sump'in! Yo, give me a holla back, yo. I'm out! One!"
LOL

Then, he scaled down a bit. He said I needed to talk to Eric Jerome Dickey (okay, y'all probably think I'm making this all up but I'm not! LOL Now, when writers put stuff from their life in a book, some people say it "doesn't ring true." LOL) and tell him about my book and propose that we make it into a play. Go in on it together. That I should negotiate with him and show him how this would be beneficial for both of us.

No, even though he was looking at all the EJD hardcovers on my bookshelf, I don't think he realized that this writer is already beyond successful and that what he was suggesting I do was like the singer Bobby Valentino calling Prince and saying, "Let's do a collaboration. I think it could be beneficial for the BOTH of us." LOL

But I take these suggestions and smile.

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It's been two years since I officially became a writer, and one year since I quit engineering to write full-time. And I was just thinking about my transitions. What are the differences between an engineering career and a writing career?

Well, the obvious is money. The biggest difference is money. I take that back. The biggest difference is happiness and fulfillment. As they say, find what is is that you truly love to do and try to make a career out of it. I'm trying my best. And yes, as I writer, I figured that I probably make less than a third of what I made as an engineer. Whew! Good thing I'm not materialistic! LOL The other sayings are true: Money isn't everything; money can't buy you happiness. I make less, but I have less stress, I'm happier, and I'm more fulfilled. I wouldn't trade my current position for anything in the world. I feel like it's what I was meant to do.

But I started thinking about my friends, family members, and strangers reactions to what I do now. The differences. It can be quite repetitious and funny. For example:

Family members: You're quitting engineering to write books (how will she eat?)?
Friends: You're quitting engineering to write books (how will she eat? Lawd! She's going to be homeless!)? Holding hands & bowed heads: Our father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...
Strangers: You're a full-time writer? Yeah, but what do you do for a living? What's your real job?


Family member: Your book is published and in book stores?! Wow! Can I get a loan? Cousin Lee-Lee's got this itch and she may die.
Friends: Your book is published and in stores? Wow! Let's go out. Your treat, you big baller you!
Strangers: Your book is published and in stores? So how does it feel to go to your book signings in a limo and fly first class?


Family member: You know, I've always wanted to write a book. Tell me how.
Friends: You know,a-heh, heh, I do a little writing on the side. Will you organize it for me, and um...publish it?
Strangers: I write too! Can I have your email or phone number can you can teach me step by step how to get it published? Will you publish it for me?


DAYS ONE AND TWO
Family, Friends, Strangers: Tell me about your next book!
Family, Friends: What are you doing today? Watching TV? (Um...writing)

DAYS THREE THRU SIX
Family, Friends, Strangers: What's the next book about?
Family, Friends: What are you doing today? (Writing)
Friends: Let's go.... (can't. I need to finish this 300 page novel)

ONE WEEK
Family, Friends, Strangers: What's the next book about?
Family, Friends: You finished that 300 page novel yet? (????)
Family, Friends: What are you doing today? (Writing)
Friends: Let's go.... (can't. I need to finish this next book.)
Any of them: I need you to help me write and/or publish...

WEEKS TWO THRU THREE
Family, Friends, Strangers: What's the next book about?
Family, Friends: You finished your next book yet?
Family, Friends: What are you doing today? (Writing)
Friends: Let's go.... (can't. I need to finish this next book)
A few of them: Will you help me write and/or publish....

ONE MONTH
Family, Friends, Strangers: What's the next book about?
Family, Friends: You finished your next book yet?
Family, Friends: What are you doing today? (Writing)
Friends: You still writing that same book? What do you DO all day? YOU'RE LAZY!!!


LOL
I'm just having fun with my family and friends, but it seems like this. No harm intended! I love all y'all, but are you listening when I tell you about the next book? LOL What's with the short term memory. (It's so funny because every time, they are so engaged in what I'm saying like it's the first time they've heard it.) And I'm a writer. Um...that means I write. LOL No, I'm not laying on the couch all day watching soaps and eating Bon Bons. Well, I do like those Dove chocolate ice cream bars with almonds. And I do watch The Young and the Restless. What's up with Lily? About to go on the run with Daniel? What is she thinking? Oh, I digress. But I write. And as much as I would like to, I find it very difficult to complete a 300 page novel in a week. LOL

No, really. I enjoy the questions. I just find them funny when you get the same ones over and over from the same people. As Alton would say, "It's all good!" (Now, if you don't get that, you need to buy my book and read it in September!) LOL

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I'm trying to tone down the giddiness I get with each little activity surrounding the book. You would think (at least I would) that I would be over the small stuff by now and would only get excited about things like say, a million dollar advance (okay, maybe stuff smaller than that too). But here it is my website designer just changed the format of the parked page announcing that my new website is coming and I'm flipping out and emailing all my friends. I don't know when the newness is going to wear off, but I can assure you that it hasn't come close to that yet. Anyway, the website should be up either this week or early next week at the lateset. I haven't seen it yet but I'm dying with anticipation,as you can imagine.

Okay, back to the BEA. The actual purpose for the trip to New York. LOL It was cool as always. This was my third year going. This year, I relaxed a little (some of it by force). In previous years, I had the first three chapters of my book to hand out to agents. I had postcards of my new cover that I gave out to as many people as possible. I was working the floor, getting to know people and trying to get people to know me and my book. Then I was collecting books along the way. The first year, I may have brought home a handful of books because I was unprepared and didn't know to ship books. In 2004, I drove and came prepared to get as many books as possible. Stayed all day for three days, wore flat shoes, and got as many books as I could. I'd fill up bags, then go empty them in my stored suitcase, and go back for more. I came home with hundreds of books! But again, I learned my lesson. Because now, I had all these books that I had no space for, and I wasn't even going to read a lot of them. So, slowly I engaged myself with giving away books, shipping book, etc., etc. So this year, I became more selective in what I picked up. I came home with 15 books that I absolutely want to read, and that I was able to pack in my suitcase and fly home. I visited the exhibits for 4 hours on Friday and missed Saturday because I got sick again from the pain medication. But all was cool, I was feeling better by that evening and made dinner with my publisher and the Blackboard Reception, which was PHENOMENAL!!!!

At the exhibits on Friday, I met the likes of Blair Underwood, Wynona Judd, and Jack Klugman of The Odd Couple. I got an autographed book from him. It's funny. The BEA is actually a place you can go star-gazing. Every year, there's some big stars or professional athletes. I remember seeing Neon Dieon (Sanders) in LA, I think, and Rhonde and Tiki Barber lst year in Chicago. They probably enjoy it because it can be low key or lower than what they're used to. You still get people asking for autographs (well, it is a book signing), but you usually don't see large groups of people surrounding someone famous like you see on TV. Book people are well behaved and orderly. You'll usually see a perfectly formed long line of people, patiently waiting to get to the front to quietly express their enthusiasm for having met the person in person. This may be followed by a book signing, an autograph, or a picture, and then the book lover smiles and walks away (reading the book if a book was given).

Ah, book people. You gotta love us!

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I'm back from New York! Don't know whether to be happy about that, or sad. New York was great. I went there for Book Expo America. I had actually debated going because it was in New York. See, I'm a small town girl. Kinda shy. Don't like large crowds and stuff. But I had a good time. Oh, yeah, and the conference was cool too. LOL

Okay, so the first thing I notice about NYC is that we're driving from LaGuardia Airport about 4PM on a Wednesday afternoon and we're going through Central Park and there are just people everywhere. In the middle of the week! It looked like the 4th of July weekend in Forest Park (St. Louis), minus the barbecue. I'm mean people were laid out on the lawn, sleeping, reading books, lolligagging... Others were skating, jogging, walking, getting ice cream from the a parked truck, meditating, etc. I'm thinking, it's Wednesday. I'd hate to see what the weekend in the park looked like!

Then, we drive to my hotel in Times Square and as you know about NYC, it was crawling with people. But instead of feeling edgy and at dis ease like I do the week of Christmas in a shopping mall, I was rather excited. I could have gotten whip lash from turning my neck here and there because there was so much going on. So many people. So many distractions. I immediately took my bags to the room and hit the streets. Just like in the movies, the crowds were so dense that people all but walked on top of cars that were trying to turn the corner. There were street vendors, street performers (ligitimate and the illegal ones who were keeping an eye out for the police and quickly shut down and closed up shop when they passed by). I mean, it was great. Sure, I was bumping into people and at times it seemed like I was not walking, but being carried down the street by the crowd, but instead of being irritated, it seemed like part of the NY experience. So, I went with the flow. Went to some nice restaurants and even took in a jazz set at Birdland. It was awesome! I had a great time.

You know, I never took pictures. Maybe I should start taking pictures of these experiences. I just like the memories. But maybe later in life, the pictures can bring out more memories than I would be able to remember on my own.

Oh, yeah, the Book Expo America. I did attend. LOL I gotta go but I'll talk about that next time. :-)

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Went to the orthodontist this week to hopefully get the braces off. Forcast is for 6 more weeks. :-(

Let's see, did I mention how so not fun it is to be on prescription drugs? And, yeah, I assume the same goes for non-prescription drugs too, but I'm not taking any of those. I go back to the doctor and in addition to doing physical therapy 3 days a week, she also prescribed a pain killer, an anti-inflammatory, and a muscle relaxer. Between these three friends, I hardly ever see the light of day. So you know there's hardly any writing getting done. Not only from being sleepy and out of it half the time, but also the fact that I can't sit up for a long period of time without my back giving out. Then there's the balance of the writing vs. pain threshold. The decision of when to take the meds. Basically, I have a choice between taking all the meds at a set time and be knocked out or non-creative for the day, OR try to hold off a little on the pain medication so I can be alert. Problem is, then I'm usually experience pain (like right now, my head hurts like I've been hit on the top of the head with a brick. As soon as I finish this, I'm taking meds so I guess the laundry will get done either later tonight or another day. I need a maid for my studio apartment). So basically, it's a lose-lose situation.

Hey, I don't even think I announced that my book is available for pre-order on Amazon.com. Next week, I'm going to the Book Expo America convention in New York. Not sure I'll have as much fun this year as in previous years, but we'll just take it one day at a time. I'm signing galleys of my book at the Blackboard Awards Ceremony and Reception on Saturday, so that's going to be fun, I'm sure. And then, my publicist is working on the small book tour. Small. Very small. The key word is....SMALL. :-) But that's cool. We need to make people aware of me, my book, and my writing style and that's going to take time.

Okay, one last accident related thing I've been thinking about. This sucks! This is really messing up my plans for the summer. I need to hold off getting the motorcycle until I'm well enough to ride it. Therapy right now is going on through the end of June. By the time I get my license and a bike now, the riding season is going to be gone! I'm pissed! Well, I've decided that regardless, I'm going to at least get the license this year. Then next year, all I have to do is ride a few times, then get my bike (if I can't get it this year). But um....I'm not going to let this injury stop me from all the things on my to do list! I'm definitely going to try to sky dive, even if I have to do it by myself. Not sure how much affect it has on the back. Regardless, I'm going to wait until after therapy, but I'm determined to do at least that this year. Of course, I'll have to write about it and post pics here in my blog! :-)

Okay, I'm about to go knock myself out for the rest of the afternoon. This is no way to spend the beginning of summer and Memorial Day Weekend. If I hadn't said it before, this sucks!

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Thanks again to all of you who have posted comments, emailed me, or even called me about the accident. I'm doing okay, but I'm experiencing back pain at the moment. There's tighteness and pain in the base of my neck and I'm having problems lifting my right arm past the shoulder. I think that's from me trying to stop the car. :-) In any respect, it seems like the healing has stopped and now it's just consistent pain. But, I'm going to the doctor today and hopefully we will get to the bottom of all this very soon. Your concern has helped my spirits. :-)

Well, I've been getting some writing in here and there when I can. It's difficult and uncomfortable to sit up for a long period of time. And going out to restaurants and sitting in uncomfortable chairs to read and write has been all but impossible as well. It's funny how the little things mean so much when they are taken away. Oh, and another thing that I've noticed. It's like I'm having little panic attacks now when trying to cross a street. It's crazy!!! Because, I know what happened was an accident. I know I was crossing the street correctly and it wasn't my fault that I got hit. But I get extremely nervous now. My body shakes, my heart starts beating faster and harder. It almost makes my chest hurt. I break out in a sweat. And I'm thinking, "My goodness! I'm just crossing a street!!!" I think my mind would have been at ease if I was in the wrong. If I was jaywalking or had on a walkman or going against the light or something. But it was like the situation was out of my control. I saw this big massive car coming at me with no way to stop it or to get the driver's attention. So I guess now, my mind is being overly cautious, but it's driving me crazy. The first time, I had to turn around and go back home. I didn't know what the deal was. It didn't get better the next time, but I forced myself. I had tears coming out of my eyes by the time I got to the restaurant. And I stayed there for the longest time, trying to put off having to go through it all again to get home. The thing is, logically, I know it was just an accident. But apparently, I can't convince my body that it's not going to happen agian. This is driving me crazy.

So, I'm having a bit of a time trying to adjust and get back to a normal life. And the pain ain't helping! But, I'm hoping that this is just a minor interruption. Hoping things will get back to normal very soon.

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Okay, my Friday the 13th wasn't very good, how was yours? No, I'm not superstitious and don't believe in that stuff, but I did have a bad Friday. I got hit by a car as I was walking across a downtown street, headed to the Bread Company for lunch, reading and writing. If you read nothing else, please read this: Accidents happens. If you are ever in an accident and clearly in the wrong and at fault, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE show concern and remorse to your unintended victim. Even if for some reason you have to fake it. A simple, "I'm sorry. It was my fault," can go a long way in making pain and suffering more bearable. It can go a long way in someone seeing your humanistic nature, your compassion and in returning that compassion. But when you hit somebody and your victim is on the ground in obvious pain and there are tons of witnesses around, trying to blame the victim by saying, "She just jumped out of nowhere" when she had the green light, the walk sign, and was in the crosswalk with people walking in front of her," well, that possibly might even make your victim's pain and suffering even worse. Compassion goes a long way in healing and soothing the mind and body. If you're ever in an accident and clearly in the wrong, just apologize and see if there's anything you can do to rectify the situation. So yes, I'm walking across the street, headed to lunch and out of the corner of my eye, I see this massive moving object coming at me. It happened so fast. By the time I look at it head on, I'm in the path of the middle of the car to the passenger side. My mind tells me that I need to move quickly because this car is coming so fast and it appears not to be slowing down. At the same time, my mind is saying that the worse thing would be for me to freeze and be knocked down and run over by the car, because I was dead center of the moving vehicle. It's amazing how many thoughts go through your head in one or two seconds. I had envisioned being knocked down, run over and possibly dragged by the car. I don't know if my legs were actually able to run. I do know that my brain sent the signal, but I don't think my legs had time to react. The car was coming so fast. So the passenger side bumper hits my right thigh and hip (and arm, I think), and the force of it knocks me backwards, spins me around and knocks me down hard on the pavement on my right side. I use the ball of my left hand to brace the fall and I guess it jams my shoulder joint because it's sore later. And I land HARD on my left hip. Oh the pain! It really hurt! At first, it was just a looooonnnnnggg sharp pain. As we sat there waiting for the ambulance, the pain was diminishing, but never completely went away until I was given a shot of pain medication in the tushie hours later. On the pavement, the officer put out his leg and let me lean against it to try to ease the pain. But they didn't want me to move and I was sitting exactly how I landed, on the arm and the hip and it felt AWFUL!!!! I really wanted to lie down and take the pressure off, but the didn't know if anything was broken and didn't want me to move. Those were the most uncomfortable moments I have ever had in my life. I've never been in any type of accident with possible bodily injuries. Although I know it could have been a LOT worse had I'd been a couple of steps behind, but still, it was no walk in the park. So, it's the next morning. Now I'm feeling aches and new aches in places that weren't hurting yesterday. My lower back is stiffening up and hurting and the sharp pain in my hip is starting to come back. I have a headache. I didn't hit my head so maybe that's from stress. Don't know. And the right side, where the car actually hit me is starting to get a little sore. I'm just going to get the pain medication prescription filled and take it easy for the next few days. Gotta try to see if I can figure out a way to lie down and type because already, sitting and typing this post is hurting my left hip. I'll try to post periodically.

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Feeling rejuvenated about writing. I'm usually all over the place in what I want to do--my mind wonders terribly. So, I set a schedule so I can fit in a little bit of everything each day. In the morning, after meditation, coffee, and light exercise, I get myself in the writing mood by reading inspirational writing passages (Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul) and follow it up with writing studies (Story and Introduction to Literature). Then, I'm ready to roll right into writing, which I have allotted a block of 3 - 4 hours. Then, after lunch, I knock a few more items off my to do list. I'm past the urgent stuff now, so I just allot three hours to do as much as I can. Then it's break time. A siesta, leisure reading (if I so choose), or The Young and the Restless. Then the evening hours are filled with an aerobics class, reading, studying, and writing. Right now, I'm getting about six hours of reading and writing, and as the to-do list dwindles, I'll increase it to 8 - 10 hours minimum. If I didn't know it before (but I did), I can truly see it now. Writing is definitely a lonely profession and you really have to want to do it. No matter what the profession, others may see glory where you don't. When I was an engineer, I traveled a lot and a lot of people would tell me how "lucky" I was. Especially since I flew to California a lot. But I didn't feel lucky. There's very little fun in flying from Ohio to the west coast every other week along with traveling to other cities, living out of a suitcase, having to remember where you are and what city you're in when you wake up, and going to a large parking lot and not remembering where you parked, then realizing you don't even remember what rental car you're driving (and of course, this time you have a car without the panic alarm button, which is great for locating a car). It wasn't fun having a condo at home, but only being in it about 5 non-consecutive days a month. Just long enough to unpack, do laundry, and pack. It wasn't fun getting home an not knowing anybody in my area, and not having the chance to go out and make friends because I'd be on the road again soon. Yet, of course, others thought I was crazy to give up a lifestyle where I get to travel and have the company pay for everything. And it's funny to me how they would say, "Even if I had to work 16 hours a day, I'd still go out and enjoy the city and its night life." Yeah, right. As they say, the grass is always greener... So here I am with writing. Another lonely profession. But, it has its perks. I do like to explore, get out, observe people, listen to conversations. It's best to do this alone because if you bring a friend, then they want to talk and you miss out on observing others or taking in the atmosphere and writing about it. Bar and grills are so cliche, but still one of the best places to observe a variety of characters (oops! Did I say characters?) and the best conversations. Especially from those who've had a few. Yes, I'm there, reading a book, then pretending to read a book. I have my notebook out where I'm taking notes. People think I'm studying school work and when they ask, I lie and say, yes, I'm a student. I learned not to say I'm a writer because then you get the long list of questions: What do you write? What else do you do? You write-full time? I see, but, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING??? (This tickles me.) Tell me about your book. You know...I do a little writing myself. How did you get into it? What made you want to become a writer? And the list of standard questions goes on. I don't mind these questions, but not when I'm working. So, I no longer tell people I'm a writer. Usually, if someone knows, it's because somebody else told them. It's funny because some of the people I've been working out with for months are slowly finding out (because a girl in the class chose my book for her bookclub's book of the month), and afterwards, they seem to be in total awe. That's another thing that I really don't understand and don't have a preference for...The awe. Because it makes you feel like people think you're doing something special, and you're not. And it feels awkward. It feels like, I would imagine, looking like a famous person, and walking around accepting praises and signing autographs, undeserved, when you know you're bagging groceries at the neighborhood grocery store. Maybe when I have at least 5 books behind me, I'll feel differently. I'll feel like I've really done something noteworthy. I don't know what it will take. But it really feels awkward right now.

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I want to say thanks to everyone who posted comments or sent an email about my last posting. And yes, I'm getting back on the right track. Life happens in between writing, so you must tend to that. But for the most part, I'm back to reading about the writing craft and carving out a daily writing schedule. I'm getting into the routine of getting up early. No alarm clock, just somewhere between 5am and 6:30 am, depending on what time I finally made it to bed. I check email briefly, which has become a breeze since I left several online newsgroups. I'm an email junkie and when I hear that little beep for new mail, I drop everything and walk like a zombie to the laptop to see what it is. So, the best way to cut down on time distractions like that is just to cut it out. So, after email, I burn incense, do a spiritual reading, and meditate. I find that meditation does wonders for setting my whole day. It sets me in the mind of first clearing my mind, then filling them with positive, constructive thoughts. I'm a firm believer in the power of attraction and thoughts being energy. I could write several posts on this topic, so I'd better not get started. :-) So, then, after the mediation, I either go right into writing, or I'll read something on the writing craft, or I'll read a few pages of a novel first. Then, that's how I'm spending my writing time. Using my creative senses and floating between reading and writing. It feels good. Oh, and I took photos for the book. Oh, how I dread taking photos! I know it's probably considered a female mind issue, but yes, I think I look chunkier in pics, so I loathe taking them. So, I pull back my hair, find the appropriate black top, then set the digital camera on 5 second delay so I can find the right pose, the best angle, and the right balance of smile (one that doesn't give a hint of my braces that I thought would be off by now). So, about 40 snaps later, I was able to pick out 4 shots that I thought were half-way decent for the cover of the first book. I send them to my editor, relieved that the whole ugly process is now behind me. A couple of days later, my editor tells me that they think they want to go with the photo that I used for the self-published book because I'm smiling more and look more approachable. Oh, yeah, that's right. I didn't think about the right image to present on the author photo, and comparing the two, I have to agree with my editor (and even my agent who thought I was going for the serious author look), that I didn't have much of a smile, although I seriously felt I was smiling. It's just that I'm old as dirt and the thought of having a picture etched in time showing and old person with braces is not the most pleasant thought in the world. So, again, I was relieved when she told me that they find the first photo acceptable. Otherwise, I'd have to send in a picture with a bigger smile, which would mean another afternoon of me trying to find the right balance for the camera. And all is not lost. I'm using a few of the pics I took for the new website. And after the braces come off, hopefully the end of this month, I'm going to have pics taking and I'll be able to smile deeply on a picture for the first time in my life!

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